These are not all my original recipes – I count on many other health-minded folks for ideas on what to cook.  Hopefully you find a few nuggets in here for yourself, and also find additional delicious recipes on the websites mentioned below.  A few of them are mine, just made up on the spot.

These recipes are perfect if you a)want to have a healthier yet delicious version of Thanksgiving and/or b) you’re hosting someone with food allergies.  NONE of these recipes contain dairy, gluten (except the sprouted grain stuffing), refined sugar, eggs, or peanuts (warning: the creamed kale recipe does contain cashews).

Go on, stretch yourself, and try one of these delicious sides this Turkey Day.  And don’t forget to express your gratitude to those you love and those you’re celebrating with this year.  You might even want to express some gratitude to those you’re a not on good terms with, just because they are likely in your life for good reason and have taught you something about yourself along the way.  An attitude of gratitude goes a long way…. just sayin’.

Ok, so here goes:

Delicata Squash Rings (recipe adapted from Christi Collins, another IIN grad and my health coach who got me into all of this!)

Ingredients:
2-3 delicata squash
2 TBSP olive or sesame oil
1-2 tsp sea salt

Instructions:
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Slice squash width-wise and cut out middle of slices (where the seeds are), creating rings.  Toss in a bowl with oil and sea salt until all pieces are coated.  Lay pieces flat on baking sheet (might need two) and bake for 20 minutes, flipping slices half way through.  Rings should be slightly browned.  Remove and let cool a little before serving.  Warning:  these go fast, so get ‘em before everyone else does!

Can-do Cranberries
Ingredients:
2 cups cranberries
1/4 cup filtered water
3 TBSP maple syrup (or more, to taste)
Cinnamon, to taste

Instructions:
Combine cranberries and water in a medium sized saucepan. Turn stove on low, cover, and let water simmer for awhile, making sure water doesn’t completely evaporate and cranberries don’t burn (approx 15-20 minutes). Add maple syrup and cinnamon and puree with hand blender (or throw it all in the blender). Add more cinnamon or maple syrup to taste. Enjoy!

Celery Root Mashed Potatoes – this recipe was created by my friend and business partner, Catherine Ziegler.  It looks amazing and I’m so excited to try it out this year!

Sprouted Grain Stuffing – This delight is from another IIN graduate, Jenny Sansouci, who I had the pleasure of meeting recently.  She has good taste.  Try this one out, and if you don’t do gluten, just substitute the bread for your favorite gluten-free version.

Gluten-Free Mushroom Gravy – also from Jenny’s site, www.healthycrush.com.

Creamed Kale – I can’t get enough of this website – it’s my version of crack.  Chalk full of delicious and healthy recipes, I want to try all of them all the time!  Warning, pace yourself.  This one looks like a fabulous twist on kale, so I’m intrigued and curious.  They haven’t let me down yet so I’m sure it’ll be worth it!

Ingredients:

5 medium to large sweet potatoes
2 bulbs of garlic
4 tsp olive or sesame oil
3 Tbsp ghee, butter, or coconut oil, melted
Sea salt to taste

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2. Wash sweet potatoes and set in glass baking dish
3. Slice off tops of garlic bulbs, exposing several if not all of the cloves
4. Drip olive or sesame oil into each bulb and sprinkle with sea salt
5. Set garlic bulbs in glass baking dish with sweet potatoes
6. Bake for 60 minutes
7. Remove from oven and let cool for 10-15 minutes
8. Squeeze sweet potatoes out of their skin and garlic cloves out of their bulbs and hand puree them in a large bowl.
9. Add melted ghee and sea salt to taste
10. Eat and enjoy!

What go-to sweet potato recipes do you flip for?  Do tell!

I’ve been here for about 2 weeks, and the first thing I noticed when I got here was that it’s mating season for the frogs!  This time of year (May & June), they come out of the woodworks each evening and sing their songs to attract their mate.  I couldn’t not record this for you, I think you’ll see why.  There are at least 4 different species of frogs going for it in this recording:  Frogs

By the time I got here, Uncle Paul had already planted most of the garden and let me tell you, August is going to be a good month!

One morning, I was awakened by an invitation to breakfast from our good friends & neighbors Marian & JP Welch of Justamere Tree Farm (the best maple syrup EVAH…).  If you have ever eaten any of Marian’s cooking, you would never turn down an invite like that.  I bolted out of bed, did my best to clean up, and we headed down for a feast full of delights. Everything pretty much comes from their garden – eggs from their chickens, herbs & greens, etc…  Marian also made some Greek yogurt out of local raw cow’s milk and picked up some local lamb sausage while she was at it.  The waffles were gluten free, and the maple syrup tapped right out of the trees here.  Not to mention even the tea was homemade with lemon balm from the garden.  YUM!

My cousin Megan came to visit for Memorial Day weekend, so we decided to venture around to one of our favorite farms, Manda Farm, to visit with Michael & Anna, their baby Thanksgiving turkeys, and of course their piglets.  Super cute & super fun to see them all basking in the sun & shade, enjoying life with mama and each other.  They will be our food and I just love connecting with them and knowing that their life, while short, is the best that it could possibly be.  Being able to thank them & bless them while they’re still alive is a gift that doesn’t come around much, so we took full advantage.

Back at Uncle Paul’s farm, the meat birds have arrived – ie, the baby chicks.  They are too cute for words right now, as you can see here:

I’d love to hear more about your primary food:  What makes you come alive?  How often do you get to fit that into your busy life?  How can you get more of that?  Who can you share it with?  These are all things that matter, they matter more for your health than anything else, so take the time to think about it, and more importantly, just do it!  Live life to the fullest, you never know what’s around the next corner so do your best to shine every second.  Signing off from the farm…

Don't you ever just get the urge to do something like this?

We are already being hit with enough electromagnetic radiation on a daily basis and it’s only increasing as we increase the number of wi-fi hot spots and wi-fi cities, etc..  Of course, in addition to that, we are exposed to radiation every time we fly, every time we go through one of those lovely TSA scanners, and every time we get an X-Ray of some sort, which independently is something that, while not healthy, most of our bodies’ can detoxify from, as long as we give our bodies that chance.  Add to it the constant & never ending exposure of radiation from our cell phones, and now a nuclear power plant disaster, and we have a problem.  It’s called bio-accumulation, and this is where I see the biggest issue.

For those of you who aren’t in California right now, it’s been raining here for the past week, pretty much since the low levels of radiation hit the state.  This doesn’t help things!  Between the water and the air, our food supply is being exposed to this radiation too, and California supplies about 70% of all agricultural products in the US.  No one is exempt from Japan’s tragedy, so it’s time to take matters into your own hands.

So what can you do?  The good news is that there is a LOT you can do naturally, it’s just a matter of being consistent and understanding that this isn’t a fad, some of these tips should be implemented for the long term.  The way I look at it, the way we should be eating right now is a combination of a detox diet and an anti-cancer/anti-candida type of diet.  Our immune system needs all the support it can get, as the stronger it is, the more it can fight off disease.  When we eat in a way that truly supports our immune system, we are eating in a way that fights candida and cancer.  Of course, our endocrine system needs extra support too as our thyroid is the most vulnerable organ in terms of radiation exposure.  That’s not to ignore the rest of our body, as everything takes a hit when exposed to continual radiation.

Recently I posted my shopping list on Facebook, and I thought I’d re-post it here and give more info so you know why you’re picking up a piece of seaweed to munch on… after all, it’s not exactly the food that most Americans fight for!

Sunflower Seeds – contain pectin which binds to and removes radioactive materials from your body.  Make sure to buy raw & organic.

Chlorella – a single cell microalgae that contains the highest concentration of chlorophyll known.  Actively extracts radiolytic particles from the body.  Superior to other greens because of it’s special acid polysaccharides.  Buy in a tablet form, look for the term “Broken Cell Wall” – this is so it can be digested and assimilated in our digestive tracts.

Sea Veggies:  Kombu and/or Kelp – excellent sources of iodine.  Helps protect the thyroid & body from Radioactive Iodine 131.  This is the best way to offer your thyroid steady, consistent protection against radiation, because if your body has enough iodine 127 (found in seaweed), Iodine 131 cannot bind to your thyroid where cell damage begins.  Add a piece of kombu to any grain you are cooking, or make a sea veggie broth to use as a base for soups, etc..  A favorite way to get seaweed into my diet without an overwhelming seaweed flavor is by using Sea Seasonings, which is a shaker full of half sea salt and half sea veggies.  This can be found in the Asian section at most health food stores.  For more info and a recipe, click here.

Miso – miso soups leach radiation from the body.  Adding several tablespoons of miso to your seaweed broth will prove to create a radiation defense soup full of flavor.

Bentonite – binds to radioactive residues and removes them from the body.

Epsom Salts & Baking Soda – this is a great combo for an alkalizing and detoxifying bath.  Our skin has no defense system, so we take in a lot from our environment each day through our skin.  The plus side of this is that we can expose our skin to things like epsom salts & baking soda that immediately support our body.  Beware, epsom salts are full of magnesium which naturally relaxes your muscles – you’ll want to do nothing but relax after this bathtime…light some candles and enjoy!

Flaxseed Oil – contains Essential Fatty Acids that promote cell renewal after radiation exposure.  I take 1 TBSP per day with food (and I don’t really enjoy it ).

Green Apples – much like sunflower seeds, green apples contain pectin that binds to and removes radioactive materials from your body.  They also contain malic acid, helping to clear sludge out of your liver & gallbladder, which allows for better liver function, ie more effective & efficient detoxification!

Beets – nature’s liver giver!  Beets nourish your liver, helping it to continually detoxify your body.  Adding beets to your salads, juice, or smoothie is a great way to get ‘em into your diet.  Eat them cooked or raw, but definitely not from a can.

Ginger – a strong antioxidant, this superfood inhibits cancer cell growth and even kills many types of cancer cells, including lung & breast cancer cells.

Buckwheat – contains glucoside rutin, which protects against the effect of radiation.

Greens – naturally detoxifying, greens bring more oxygen to your body giving it energy and an advantage in fighting disease.  Right now dandelion greens are in season and excellent for your liver, so an added boost in the detox department.

Be sure to visit and “like” my Facebook Page to see some photos of my most recent seaweed/miso detox soup.

Sources:  David Miller via Kristen Domingue, Paul Pitchford

Additional Resources:  The Body Ecology Diet by Donna Gates, The Top 3 Reasons to Eat Seaweed by Afshin Mokhtari, and for the non-mainstream media updates on Japan’s nuclear crisis, I visit www.naturalnews.com by Mike Adams, Health Ranger.

To give you an idea, I used to just cry when I got angry.  That’s it, just tears.  Never knew why I was crying, didn’t understand the feeling going on inside or what to do about it.  If you had asked me then what made me angry, my response would have been, “I don’t get angry.”  Well I’m glad those days are over!

Moving to Boston was actually really helpful for me.  When the MBTA people would scream at me because I didn’t know what train to get on, I could feel anger, and I actually was able to yell right back – yay!!  It was pretty invigorating when I think about it, and it made me feel alive.

The last couple of years have been more emotional than usual.  Some of you know that my personal life hasn’t exactly worked out as planned (who’s has, really?!), but the last couple years really did me in and the biggest part of this has been the loss of a relationship that I had more certainty about than anything else in my life.

Over the last year, anger has come and gone at various times and I thought I was over it, but alas, I was wrong!  Some recent events have stirred up a bunch of strong feelings that I have been surprised by.  There has been a fair amount of sadness, but what’s been even stronger is anger.  I’m not going to get into what I’ve been angry about, but I will say that for someone who doesn’t have much experience in dealing with anger, I think I’m doing pretty well.  I’ve made the space to play around with it a bit, and I thought I’d share some of my “noticings” with you.

1. First and foremost, when I’m angry, crunchy food completely rocks my world.  Nuts, potato chips, rice cakes, etc..  Basically I get to be aggressive with my teeth, and it feels good!
2. Like any emotion, if you acknowledge and make room for it, you will be so much better off than if you try to suppress it.  For me, I made space in my day to feel it, to yell, to write angry letters (none of which will be sent ), to ride my bike aggressively, and to just be pissed.  And it actually felt invigorating (kind of like yelling at the MBTA)
3. Once your anger has been allowed to be, you can begin to ask yourself some important questions. I asked myself what this anger was all about and I realized that my anger has been fueled by fear.  Fear that I’m going to grow old alone, fear that I may not have a choice in the “having a child” matter, and an even greater fear that our time together was meaningless to my ex.  Now I know that these fears are just that, and while they feel real, they are not reality at all.  I also started to look at some recent behavior and realized I’ve been feeding these fears, and we all know that when we feed something, it grows – no good!
4. I am a big believer that when you physically act out your emotions with your body, you can really work it through – it’s totally fun and nothing is as bad as it seems.  For example, when I need to let go of something I can go take a flying trapeze class and I’m all set!  I’ve been toying around with what I will do to play out anger, and I’ve narrowed it down to a couple choices.  A. Kickboxing  B. Shooting Range.

Choice B wins – good thing I have a federal agent for a roommate

There is a gift here, as there always is with any “negative” emotion.  Your bodies (physical, spiritual, and emotional) are always giving you information, and once you understand them, you can get to the root of it and give more to yourself.  When you give more to yourself, you can give more to others.   For me, the gift is in realizing on a deeper level that my own validation needs to come from within, and I am spending time on this each day.  When I meet that hubby of mine, I’m going to be ready for him!

So, what does anger bring to your table?  Or any other emotion for that matter?

Approach your emotions and your body with curiosity, and you’ll be amazed at what you learn.

So, obvious reason number one:  there’s just a whole lot of good food around, desserts especially.  Between my cousin, sister, and myself, we’ve mastered the art of “healthy” desserts.  We’ve always had sweet teeth, so we’ve become the poster children for “where there’s a will, there’s a way.”  We are purists (when it comes to food) however, so we don’t like added crap in our food.  If we’re going to make dessert, it’s going to be all natural, organic, refined sugar, dairy & gluten free (no xantham gum allowed), but it’s going to taste better than sex.  Err, at least close to it.  Promise.  So, while I have to state that just because you take the crap out it doesn’t mean it’s healthy, I’d just state that we make dessert neutral.  Even still, eating too much of anything just adds up and doesn’t make you feel great.

To let you in on the feast, I must tell you that we had peppermint macaroons dipped in chocolate & sprinkled with sea salt, gluten free pumpkin cupcakes topped with maple cream and melted chocolate, a gluten free Betty Crocker cake (from the neighbors), more blonde macaroons topped with organic peanut butter (not gonna lie, this tasted like a nutter butter and it was hard to stop myself), and some delightful teff ginger molasses gingerbread men.  That’s kind of a lot to have sitting around.

Reason number two:  just plain tired.  When I’m tired, I reach for food as a stimulant – sugar or sweet foods being the number one choice for me.  So again, going back to reason number one and having so much around, how could I help myself?

Reason number three:  I have to be honest and say that there was definitely some emotional eating going on, which creates many sub-reasons that I’m not quite to the bottom of yet.  First and foremost, my parents are pretty cool, especially when I’m with them by myself.  But when the family gathers in larger numbers, comments come out of their mouths that totally surprise me, even though by now they shouldn’t.

Sub-reason number one:  it’s very clear that they wish I were married with kids and a job (not this holistic thang I’ve got going on, see sub-reason number two for more on this).  Even though I have good reason for not being married right now, and that it will happen when I’m ready and when I’m with the right person, they clearly are a bit disappointed, even though if I asked them point blank they would deny it.

Sub-reason number two:  they don’t understand the way that I eat and what my work is about, and they find it stressful, confusing, and difficult.  I get that, it’s a change, and I truly don’t expect them to be thrilled about it, but I know that they think I’m a little off my rocker.  Thank God for my sister, cousin, fellow health coaches, and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, all who remind me that I am on course and that all that I practice and preach is helping myself and others who are or have been sick with “unexplainable” reasons.

Sub-reason number three:  a true combination of sub-reason one and two.  In other words, in their minds, this whole holistic health thing is difficult, and what guy would want to deal with it?!!  If you need a reminder, check out Day 6 where I quote my dad.  I’m not going to say that everyone understands where I’m coming from, but I don’t force people to conform to my way of being and eating, I just do my thing and they can do theirs.  It all works, it’s just different.

Regardless of all of these reasons and sub-reasons, I definitely noticed myself eating when I wasn’t hungry, and I have a little extra puff today to show for it!  What I love about it is that I can look back 3-4 years ago, and while the same process was going on for me inside, it was far more intense emotionally, and the food was so much worse for my belly and brain.  I believe that health is a lifelong journey and that we don’t become perfectly healthy at one specific point in our lives.  Health is about balance, and that means some things will be out of balance at certain times, and other things at other times, but knowing what throws us off, or just knowing that we are thrown off, and knowing ourselves well enough to know what will get us back on track is what makes things so much fun.

So, for me, today, I am in love with my puff.  It’s telling me that I overdid it on the dessert, corn, and gluten, and that’s great!  I know to stop it, to get some sleep, and to love my puff no matter what.  Loving my puff keeps me from getting on the obsessive wheel of guilt and fear around food & life, and the next thing I know, poof! the puff is gone!

So Merry Puffing Christmas, and Happy New Year to you!

Well, clearly he is a little freaked out when in the presence of Kristyn (sister), Megan (cousin), and I.  He made no comments about my healthy ways when I was at home with just him and my mom, but as soon as we headed to Scottsdale and Kristyn, Megan, and I started cooking and sharing our latest health research, oh the comments began!

He literally asked me what I do when asked out on a dinner date.  He wanted to know how I respond and then what happens at dinner.  I guess it’s a fair question, and it’s not always easy I will admit, but I’m creative enough and can work around most menus.  Not to mention I believe in balance and the good ‘ole 80/20 rule – 80% of the time eat really well, 20% of the time, relax, have fun, and don’t worry about it.  He still shakes his head at this response!

There were also several “no wonder you’re single” comments that he threw out to Megan and I, as we are both single and it does seem to perplex the family I guess.  He throws it out with a laugh and a smile, and his tone is joking, but I know it doesn’t always sit well with us, even though we are fine with where we are.

Sometimes, even though I am perfectly happy with where I am and what I’m doing with my life, I get really tired of feeling like I have to defend it.  I’m sure you can relate to that statement!!  When it comes to food, my nutrition education has completely changed my life, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  What’s challenging is that not everyone has been exposed to what we have been at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (and other holistic nutrition programs), and not everyone wants to know the truth about our healthcare, pharmaceutical, and industrial food systems, because it will literally break down what they’ve always trusted and the information will force change that isn’t easy.

I’m constantly being watched by others for my food choices, even when I’m out for a leisurely dinner with friends, and then questions almost always arise.  When I go to answer the questions, more questions and challenges ensue, and I begin to feel defensive.  It’s frustrating, because I just want to eat dinner with my friends or family, and not feel like an outcast for what I’m eating (or not eating) based on the years of experimenting, research, and studying that I’ve done, both in books and with my own body.

So when I start getting these cracks from my dad, I let it roll off for the most part, but I still notice my defenses getting sparked and this feeling of not being accepted, and I don’t like how that feels.  As I write this, I can see that maybe, just maybe, I’m making my mom feel the exact same way when I pull out the no-chicken chicken from her fridge.  Food for thought, and good to notice.  Isn’t it interesting how personal food can be, and what kind of feelings and emotions it drudges up?

That’s it, from now on I’m just going to say I’m an Accountant.

… and Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night…

I must admit, I’m exhausted as I write this so I’ll just give a warning that this may not be my highest quality post.  We headed up to my sis’ house in Scottsdale today where my cousin was also hanging out, so our united front has officially united for this holiday.  It always feels great to be in good company.

There were more than a few sideways comments & questions tonight from my dad about dating and eating, definitely a good topic for future blogging.  He’s very confused about where we could possibly go to eat if a courageous fellow decided to ask us out (this was all directed at my cousin & I as my sis has been married for quite some time now).

After fielding those (our responses ranged from no response to dishing it right back out, to just letting him know we can work with just about anything as we’re pretty creative), we sat down to a lovely dinner that consisted of an organic free-range turkey breast, sweet potatoes pureed with coconut milk & sea salt (so simple & yum!!), brussel sprouts & shitake mushroom delight, and a gluten & lactose free mac ‘n cheese (per my nephew’s request and with good reason!), all followed by delicious pumpkin muffins with chocolate & maple cream drizzle on top.  No sugar, dairy, or gluten involved!

…no cheese was ‘a stirring, for us or a mouse…

Eating without the gluten or dairy may seem neurotic to many, or even straight up ridiculous, but what many people don’t understand is how much better we feel when we take these foods out.  Eating this way is not our form of a diet, it’s a way for us to stop the bloating, fatigue, nutty emotions, headaches, and much much more.  We didn’t grow up this way, we came to this way of eating after delving into our own health, doing our own research, and being trained by MDs and practitioners who specialize in holistic and/or integrative (functional) medicine.  What we put into our mouths has everything to do with how we feel on a daily basis – mentally, physically, and emotionally.  There are ways to experiment with this and determine which foods work for us and which ones don’t, and once we complete these experiments, food becomes much more of a tool for good health rather than something we need to battle with each day.  It’s amazing how freeing this is, and this is what I want for my mom, my clients, friends, family, etc..

On that note, I feel as though I must confess.  This confession is as much for you as it is for me.  You see, people are always looking at what I eat and because most of the time I’m eating things that are viewed as extreme in the purity department, people are often surprised to hear that I too have cravings, I too give in to those cravings, and I too am sometimes “bad” when it comes to food (after all, that’s part of the fun of food!).  The only difference between me and you is that I don’t stress out about it anymore, and I swear that keeps me in my healthy place because no stress = no obsess.  So here goes…

Being that we’re in the Southwest, we have always eaten Mexican food on Christmas – authentic tamales and tortillas from the locals, amazing bean dishes, and then some.  Well, if there’s one thing that jumps into my head at different times during the year, it’s the tortillas that my parents pick up from the local tortilla factory.  OMG, they are to die for.  And I don’t care how much gluten I don’t eat, I make an exception every year at Christmas time for these suckers, they are SO good!  Yesterday they arrived in the kitchen warm, and I had 2 of them right on the spot, just to make sure they still live up to their reputation.  I had another half later on, just because.  Trust me, with these things, you don’t need a reason!  I loved every bite, and while I stayed away today, I plan on fully indulging again tomorrow – they cannot be missed!

What treats are you not willing to give up?   If you’re not willing to give them up, give yourself the best gift of all and enjoy every second of indulgence, sans guilt.  It’s so worth it!

With that, I want to leave you with my sister’s awesome mac’n cheese deliciousness:

Gluten-Free, Lactose-Free Mac ‘N Cheese

Ingredients:

1 package gluten free macaroni noodles (I love Jovial or

4 TBSP Ghee

2 TBSP gluten free flour, like sorghum, gluten free oat, or brown rice flour.

1.5 tsp salt

Nutritional Yeast (optional)

Instructions:

Cook pasta, and just before draining pasta, put aside 1.5 cups of cooking water.
Drain pasta but don’t rinse it.
Put pasta back in the pot with ghee, salt, and flour.  Stir for a minute or two.
Add cooking water back in, bring mixture to boil for 3-4 minutes until thick.
Add nutritional yeast for flavor as desired.
Enjoy!

The stockings have been hung by the chimney with care,
in the hopes that St. Nick will soon be here…

I wish you a wonderful holiday with family and friends, and stay tuned as tomorrow is bound to provide me with some decent material.  Merry Christmas!

Before I get into any storytelling, I did want to mention a few really cool things.  First off, something my mom does that I think is quite clever… she has lemon trees in the backyard and the lemons all kind of ripen at once so it’s hard to keep up with, even when she gives a ton away.  She ends up making lemon juice ice cubes and then stores them in the freezer in bags.  I’ve been making us hot water with lemon, ginger, manuka honey, and cayenne pepper (I know, sounds delish right? )  each night and those lemon ice cubes are great!  They cool down the hot water enough to make it sip-able right away while getting home grown lemon juice – nice one, mom!

The other really cool thing is a new gadget she’s got (she’s a kitchen gadget whore) that I’m totally nuts over.  I may be the last person to know about this, but she’s got this ceramic knife by Kyocera that’s a-mazing!  I guess this was highlighted on Oprah’s Favorite Things, but I didn’t watch that so I had no idea.  These things rock and they are sharper than sharp.  I have cut myself twice already, which may not be a total surprise, but I barely felt it slice my fingers even though the cut was deep.  It did give me the opportunity to test cayenne pepper’s ability to stop the bleeding, and raw honey’s ability to disinfect a wound.  So far, they’ve both passed the test.  Regardless of the cuts, I highly recommend this little feisty beast of a knife, it’s well worth the reasonable price.

Ok, so what’s got me gigglin’?  The no chicken chicken of course!  This afternoon I knew I had to ask because time is running out.  We’re headed to Scottsdale tomorrow so I wouldn’t have access to this marvel after today and asking the question just wouldn’t be the same without the item in hand.  Here’s how it all went down:

“Mom, so I have to ask you something.”

“Oh, yeah, well, now what?”   …while laughing…

walking over to the fridge, I said “I need to know what this is?”  …while pulling out the chicken-less chicken..

We both started laughing and she said, “I got it for your dad, I wanted to make him a sandwich with it!”  Ok, for those of you who know my dad, you know that he’s a man’s man, this guy needs meat.  I cannot imagine him coming anywhere near the chicken-less chicken, no way Jose.  I wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole and I don’t eat much meat!  Anyhoo, she went on to fumble her words, but as she read the package further, it was really called chicken-less pulled chicken.  So she says, “but it’s pulled.”  My response:  ”From what?”  Seriously Trader Joe’s, what is this stuff?

She did start cracking up at this point, I think she was really cracking under the pressure because she knew she was busted.  I asked her more about what it was, and because she wasn’t sure I asked her what the ingredients were.  So, and I love this, she skipped the main part and just read all the sub-ingredients like the spices.  At this point I was cracking up!  ”Uh, no mom, what is the chicken-less pulled chicken part?”  She then read it to me and of course it’s the corn, soy, and gluten combo I alluded to in Day 1.

In the middle of all this my dad walked into the kitchen and started laughing too, saying he was offered a delicious sandwich the other day, of which he was really glad he turned down.  I have to say his intuition steered him well that day

Mom was shocked when I told her, after she threw it away, that this particular item would be a good transition food for people who are going from meat eating to vegetarian (which I guarantee you is not happening in my parents’ house), but otherwise it has no place in the fridge.  The shock was at the fact that I had anything nice to say about the chicken-less pulled chicken.

Now, in closing, you must know that I did give her a break by not mentioning that I noticed with my detective eye that she had written the number of points (ie – 3) right there on the box…. so it really was for her, and she probably really was going to eat it.  Luckily it had passed the expiration date and it went out in the trash.